In the soft play café. A little girl comes up to me.
Girl: That granny just wiped something on me.
Me: Did she? Oh dear.
Girl: [points at Moo] Is that your baby?
Me: Yes, that’s my little girl.
Girl: That granny just wiped my sleeve.
Me: Is she your granny?
Girl: My granny’s dead.
Me: Oh dear… [looking round for girl's parent]
Girl: How old is your baby?
Me: She’s almost two.
Girl: I think that granny put nose jam on my sleeve.
Me: OK? [realises what nose jam might be] Oh. Oh dear. Which granny?
Girl: [points to old lady playing with a baby] There. I’m going to find my mummy.
Me: OK. [moves away from old lady]