Tagged: memes

The Gallery – Self Portrait

I’m such a farking narcissist I couldn’t resist joining in The Gallery with this theme.

But lest you think I do ACTUALLY love myself , I really do not. I just wanted to show off the new Snapseed photo editing app I have on my phone. It is great and awesome. Lots of retro/grubby/dramatic filters and frames, and nice blurring tools. So. You can totally mess with your face. Which is fun.

I took a shot of myself and had a play. This is what happened:

photo (1)

I like to think I am GLOWING with some sort of supernatural evanescence. Spooky me.

I also like that my features have been almost obliterated by the filter. You can’t see what my mouth is doing. Am I smiling? Am I poking out my tongue? Am I mouthing something obscene? (probably)

If you would like to join in with The Gallery, or view the other entries, then please click the link below and spread the warm blog loving. Cheerio.

 TheGallery

Lovely

Hmm. Lovely. It’s nice to be called lovely, yeah? I don’t mind that at all. Cos I am lovely. Most times.

And if it was that blogging maven Mum of One doing the ‘bestowing of the lovely’, then fine. All good. She’s a peach. She can call me whatever she wants, innit. And she just so happened to call me, The Loveliest Blogger in Town. Well! I say. THANK YOU, Mum of One. I’m honoured, proud, and farking JOYFUL about that. Wahoo! In town, she said! The loveliest IN TOWN. Yeah! *punches air*

Oh wait. What?

It’s a meme? I’ve been tagged in a meme?

I’VE BEEN TAGGED IN A MEME?

Farking WHAAAAAAT?

FFS.

Lovely.

Hmph.

It’s lucky I heart Mum of One or I’d be pointing my giant laser at her arse right now.

The rules for this ‘lovely’ meme are pretty simple. Answer the questions, tag someone else. Whatevs. *scuffs floor*

1. If you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

Who needs to be a farking superhero when you’ve got a giant laser and an extraordinary arse? People should want to be ME. Innit.

2. Marmite on toast. Match made in heaven or hell. 

Heaven, obvs. Anyone who says otherwise is a wrong’un, and needs to be rounded up and chucked into my dungeon.

3. Boris Johnson. Discuss.

Eeewww, what? No.

4. Full fat, semi skimmed, or skimmed? 

I have full fat. Cos my milkshake brings all the boys to the… no. Actually it’s cos Moo has full fat. So I do too.

5. Bum exercises. Squats, lunges, or sofa?

I have an extraordinary arse. EXTRAORDINARY. I need no exercises for my gluteus maximarse. It is extraordinary enough.

That’s it. Those five meagre questions constitutes the epithet of ‘lovely’. How? I have no farking idea. I am just humouring Mum of One. She so owes me a huge glass of wine.

Now I’m tagging some bizzatches. Step up The Pickled Princess, Slightly Suburban Dad, and Mummyglitzer. Sorry you lot.