Blood

Blood is thicker than water, they say, which is kind of true, cos if you try to dilute some Vimto with blood it doesn’t really work. It’s way too thick. Your Vimto goes all gloopy, and tastes weird, and suddenly you’re not allowed to help out at playgroup any more.

BUT ANYWAY, I guess what they mean is, y’know, family ties are more important than, erm, watery ones. Which is fair enough. It’s an old saying, a proper vintage adage that has, like, historical weight to it, so yeah, it’s got to be true for a heck of a lot of people. Maybe not those people who are related to serial killers, or Piers Morgan, but most people, I’d have thought. Including me! I love my family. BLOOD. I love my blood. And here I mean anyone related to me by blood, not my actual blood. Although I am fond of my actual blood. It does its stuff quite handily, and is a nice red colour. YAY PLASMA!

This is the MODERN AGE, tho, innit. Like, now. It’s not yesterday, or days of yore. They happened already. This is the present day. If we’re talking about family (which I am, yo) then that can’t be neatly explained and put into little sections and labelled with washi tape and written on in fancy handwriting. It just don’t work like that any more. Family means much stuff to lotsa folk, and recently I’ve been considering my own family unit and realising it for the special and treasured thing it is.

Obvs there’s my blood kin, I’ve mentioned them. Bloooooood. YAY PLATELETS! This is my best GCSE Biology-based knowledge shining through here, by the way. OH YES – I got a B. I am practically a bona fide scientist, yes I am shut up. ANYWAY. Family. So, so much more than literal relations. I feel lucky enough to have close friends that I definitely could not use to dilute my Vimto, purely because they’d make it too gloopy and weird. BUT THAT’S A GOOD THING, STAY WITH ME. I have an ex-husband who is an excellent father and will be a good friend for life. I have online acquaintances who – even  tho I’ve never met some of them – give me an intense hit of camaraderie whenever I fire up my WiFi. Big smooches to them. And, hey – I have a boyf, and a Moo, and that on its own is otherworldly awesome; but the WHOLE LOT make it a pure damn beautiful modern family unit right there, folks.

Before I go all gooey and tear up and snot all over my laptop, y’all should know this is probably ze hormonez talking. I’m on a contraceptive pill called That’s A Fuck Load Of Oestrogen, Bitch and it’s playing havoc with my levels. HOWEVER, I do think it’s a thing to mull. What constitutes a ‘family’ for you? Is there such a thing as a ‘traditional’ family unit any more? Does it even matter? (I bet the Daily Mail thinks it does) (the fuckers) (as long as we’re ALL HAPPY, right?)

YAY HAEMOGLOBIN!*

 

*GCSE Biology. Got a B.

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21 comments

  1. M T McGuire

    Thank you for a lovely wee laugh (but luckily not a laugh wee). I particularly like the name of your new pill. I’ve had a coil fitted but it’s nothing to do with my ignition system…. hmm… is this too weird for a first comment. Probably. Oh well.

    cheers

    MTM

  2. Flossing the Cat

    It’s BLOODY confusing is all I know. Especially when you learn that blood is like, 92% water n’all, so where the fark does that leave you? So anyhoo, I’m now imagining a sample of my blood in a test tube, and when I look closely at it thru a microscope, it’s made up of 92 of my friends, and 8 members of my family, and they’re all going fucking mental and screaming at me to let them out. At which point I start screaming at them to shut up and let me get on with my blogging or I’ll whizz them all up with some grapes and herbs and shit and turn them into gloopy Vimto. I don’t know what it means. But you’re welcome.

  3. Roo

    Lovely MoVo! I’ve got an unrelated family, those I hold nearest and dearest around me – my friends. They’ve held me up so many times I’ve lost count. I love them dearly! But Blood is good to…. Yay Hemoglobin…….xx

  4. AlwaysARedhead

    I have had the same best friend for a good thirty years, you will do anything for me. I have a brother I haven’t spoken to in over twenty years and even when I did, my best friend would do more than him.

  5. jbmumofone

    Blood family great. Most non blood family also great. Family accrued via wedding lark…some great, some I would happily donate to you. For your mad vimto stash like, please. No really please.

  6. Cathy Dreyer

    I have two chickens.
    I say ‘have’ but they don’t live here.
    They don’t even live near here.
    Or near each other.
    Occasionally, they visit and shit
    all over my stuff. It takes a long time
    to clean it up. I want to say
    to them ‘What are you doing here?
    Don’t you know I’m an owl now?’
    But what’s the point? They know
    I’m just hooting at the dark.

  7. dorkymum

    I think one of the few advantages of getting older is getting a bit more thoughtful about family, and realising that it doesn’t’t just have to mean the ‘blood’ ones. That sometimes the ‘blood’ ones are actually a gigantic pain in the arse, and that the wifi ones can be a lot more helpful and fun, actually. Nice to see you blogging again. x

    • motherventing

      Thanks m’lady :) I know a few ppl who prefer their ‘water’ family over their ‘blood’ family – I don’t think it’s so unusual any more, it’s kind of OK to find family in other places now.

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