Room 101

I never really understood the concept of the BBC TV game show Room 101. Picking stuff to consign to hell? OK right. But what if you eventually end up in your Room 101? It’s entirely likely. Why put a load of stuff you hate in the room where you’ll spend all eternity? Let’s see, I really really can’t stand gin, and good books, and cake. No siree. That can all go in my Room 101. OK bye see you later, I’m CONSIGNING MYSELF TO HELL. Sounds AMAZING in there. Cheerio, SUCKERS.

In Orwell’s novel 1984 Room 101 was a torture chamber, filled with the worst things you ever feared and hated, with the express purpose of breaking your spirit and wrecking your soul. That’s more fucking like it. I can think of PLENTY of things that my own Room 101 would be rammed to the shitting bastard rafters with. And once everything is in there, you’ll find me ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE.

For example, my (capacious) Room 101 would contain:

wasps

bigots

Tom Hanks

lumpy milk

bin juice

fungal infections

mango

housework

the Tory government

hayfever

pets

Radio One

large-ish spiders

and damp towels.

That lot can keep each other company UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

I was tagged by the unequivocally splendid Lara who writes at A Life So Ordinary to join in with this Room 101 meme.

What would you put in your Room 101? Assuming one day you might be tortured with it?

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27 comments

  1. lyndajanepurcell

    Chris de Burgh. His music stinks, he has the worst hairstyle ever, and he’s a smug cunt.
    The word ‘pleasant’
    The horrible Shona Sibary who writes for the Daily Mail, articles which feature pictures of her daughter in provocative poses, who she then slut shames, or how she’d rather mop the floor than have sex with her husband. ARRGGGGGH
    Feminine Hygiene products.
    Madonna’s children’s books. Yes please one of the richest women in the world we really want to read your pious little homilies about how money doesn’t buy spiritual fulfilment. On second thoughts – Fuck Off.

  2. Flossing the Cat

    Thank you for this list hun. You see, I am suffering from the worst PMS today, so having to compile a list of things I hate is music to my ears, a balm to my soul, an unguent for my uterus. Here it is:

    wasps, captchas, cat poo, farkin Gwynnie, perfume ads, The Sun, those notorious benefit cheats the Royal Family, (yes, including our very own Queen), Karrrrrrrrrrrren Brady, housework, snoring, bin juices, school runs, food shopping, rushing about the sodding place, motorway slip roads, tailgaters, people who honk their horns when they see someone they know, competitive sports, flying, Michael Gove, my partner taking a shit with the door open, Harry Hill trying to liven up his voice-overs on You’ve Been Framed by making out that every single person in every single clip looks like someone from a soap aaaarrrghhhhh …. *pass me the evening primrose oil now*

  3. M T McGuire

    If its any consolation McOther and I already live in Room 101…. And Michael Cargill put my trousers in yesterday. But that’s not really why I’m commenting. I just wanted to congratulate you on having a “bastards” tag. And that strap line. As a fellow Mum it appealed hugely.

    Cheers

    MTM

  4. Louisa @ My Family & Abruzzo

    Def the wasps, damp towels and spiders. Also, the Daily Mail, dried fruit, aggressive drivers, the smell of bleach (a useful product,but that smell!), old people who shop and bank on Saturdays (how dare they), X Factor, clear mascara (what is the point?), rude people and crocs.

  5. Gappy

    Jeremy Clarkson, captcha, smell of rotting spinach when it goes to liquid in the packet. Also I really fucking hate when kids wet the bed in the middle of the night and the smell of warm urine wakes you up. But putting kids in room 101 seems very wrong, so maybe not.

  6. Pingback: Room101 | the BlueGlass library

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