Cuddle

Me and Moo have this thing now, yeah. She started it. It was her idea. When I’m getting her ready for bed – pyjama’d, sleeping bagged, and In The fucking Night Gardened – she looks me straight in the eye and says, ‘Now we have a lovely cuddle’.

And it’s true, we do. We sit on the chair in her room and have a lovely cuddle.

Like I said, she started it. OBVS I would cuddle her anyway, and we’d maybe have a tickly smooch, or a giggly hug, but this – THIS – is a lovely cuddle. It’s our lovely cuddle. I lean back on the chair and she lies on her front and tucks her head under my chin, throws her arms round mine and occasionally, very occasionally, licks my neck. Yeah. A lovely cuddle.

I’m ALL about the cuddles. I’m a very tactile lady person. If I deem you awesome enough for my clammy grasp, you’ll get major huggage from me. It may take a while to suss you out so don’t be miffed if I’ve not cuddled you yet. I will. I have cuddly designs on lots of you. Lots of uber-cuddle. Mondo hugfest. Totes cuddlations, innit. I’m making words up now. But I reckon you get it. Me cuddle you = all’s well.

But a lovely cuddle from my baby Moo, THAT’S special. And she started it. It was HER idea. She says, ‘Now we have a lovely cuddle’, before she goes to sleep. And we do.

Can’t get enough cuddling, in my humble opinion. I’ve been fortunate enough to be in relationships with menfolk who Do the Cuddles. A man who withholds armclasp-loving is not the fella for me. You gotta HUG me. I wanna be HUGGED. I want to know that with that gesture, you love me, want to comfort me, support me, have affection for me, will protect me, keep me warm, keep me safe, and will, like, wrestle fuckin’ LIONBEARS for me, y’know? THAT’S hugging. That’s cuddles. Friendship cuddles are the same. Family cuddles. Virtual HUGZ with online pals, too. Love hugs. Love cuddles. And make it a good grip, as well. None of this limp grip, no way. You put your arms round me, you’d better make me worry for my ribcage. Understood? I like to be HUGGED. Dare you to do it properly. I’m telling you. Hug me good, you bastards.

With Moo, though. Our lovely cuddle. That’s a soft one. Gentle, like. She’s tired, fractious. I’m most likely eager for her to be abed and sleeping, it’s been a long day, y’know. Yet she looks at me and says, ‘Now we have a lovely cuddle’. And we do. I hold her to me and smell the shampoo on her hair and feel her eyelids flick against my chest and wince a bit when she digs her elbows in my sides and listen to her breathing calm beneath my hands and stroke her back and tell her I love her more than anything and this is our lovely cuddle, and this is when I know for sure that out of everything in this whole damn world, our lovely cuddles make all the shit stuff totally worth it.

Cuddles. Do you get enough?

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45 comments

  1. Ruth

    Slightly embarrassing this, but ours are called DorkyCuddles, and it was wee T that came up with that too. Usually followed by a kiss bomb. Some things make parenting totally worthwhile, right?

  2. Sam McKean

    Only my kiddiwinkles give me cuddles. They are pretty awesome cuddles. But I do wish I got more from friends and family. You can never have enough hugs, like shoes really. Well a bit like shoes, I always have room for hugs, never enough room for shoes…

  3. Nick

    I LOOOOOOVE cuddles! Especially those lovely, warm, special, unconditional, heart-melting daughter-cuddles of which you speak. I don’t get quite as many now that G is such a little squiggly ball of energy but when they come (as they did in abundance this morning in fact) they are the highlight of my life.

    A big fat rib-cracking Mr. Tickle arms cuddle for you my lovely (virtual for now but actual before too long I hope). X

  4. gingersiren

    Lovely blog and all I can say is you can never have enough cuddles, just as smiles can change your day a cuddle can lift you. a small gesture that makes you smile, makes you feel safe, makes you feel loved, lets you know there are people who care. Such a useful gesture but one which is becoming more sparse I feel.

    • motherventing

      Maybe. I think I’m lucky in that I have lots of huggy friends. But yeah, hugs that make you feel safe and loved are the best. Thank you for commenting :)

  5. dinkythinks

    I can’t wait for A to cuddle me back…its all a bit one sided right now… Unless boob is involved!

  6. AmDramCraftyMam

    I had the best little lad cuddles tonight!! They’re dropping his nap in nursery now so he was tired and we just collapsed on the sofa, his arms round my neck and his head on my chest (best pillow ever)!!

    But we always have great bedtime cuddles too. He’s the perfect size to settle himself under my armpit, often with a bony elbow in the ribs to get there and a head back on the boobie pillow while we read our stories.

    Kids rule for cuddles!!

  7. TheRealMrsBash

    Oh I’m a big hugger! I’ll give anyone a squeeze! My hubs is also a fan of a huggy snuggle! Best cuddles are from my girls! Miss B’s morning cuddles are the best!! Now come here MoVo so I can squidge ya!!! Xxx

  8. Jules Smith

    Love cuddles. My son giving me a bedtime cuddle cheers me up more than anything else. No matter what the day has thrown at you a cuddle from your kid makes it all seem that bit better

  9. Christina E (@Beadzoid)

    Awww, how precious! What a lovely little girl – testament to the affection you obvs shower her with that she is so affectionate and generous with her squidgy cuddles.

    I’m ALWAYS cuddling my daughter. And she is always demanding mummy cuddles and kisses, and it totally melts me. Her cuddles are the best! I cuddle my hubs too, and I give my mum hugs when I see her. I’m kind of a bit odd though on the cuddle front. I have the instinct, but sometimes I just go a bit rigid if I’m not really really close with the person. I get this off my Dad I think. When I hug a friend I will often automatically find myself maintaining personal space so that my arse is sticking out at 45 degrees unless I consciously try not to.

    I think I need some lessons in social tactility :) x

    • motherventing

      You hugged me. I think? Did you? I’m sure you did. Well, we probably did that awkward ‘I don’t really know you but we’ve BONDED on social media’ hug, which is better than no hug, IMO. Yeah, I tend to just hug the crap outta someone unless I actively dislike them. In which case I death stare them. ;) x

  10. pieandbaer

    Ahhhh – proper tears at the end of that. Look what my kids have done to me; I’m an emotional wreck. My BEST cuddles in the world that I get are when I get in from work and get the Double Running Cuddle – both babies running towards me with arms outstretched and then a massive double cuddle. Best thing in the world :-) x

    • motherventing

      A DOUBLE RUNNING CUDDLE!! Wowzers :D running cuddles are SO GOOD! And bruv, don’t worry, I was weeping a bit writing that… Moo has turned me soppy dammit ;) x

  11. Mummy Glitzer

    I love cuddles too. Especially when Harry asks for them. They are the best and feel amazing. And can cheer me up even at my lowest, darkest place.

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