Five Nights

Five nights. FIVE NIGHTS. Next week I will have FIVE MOO-LESS NIGHTS. That’s five whole nights and six whole days without my toddler. SHRIEK! And also, YAY! I mean, OBVS I will miss her like mentalissimo, and will probably spend the first few hours wandering round my house and making Marmite sandwiches for teddy bears and mournfully watching Cbeebies and sniffing her clothes, but THEN I reckon all the headiness of freedom will kick in and I’ll go out and, like, DO stuff.

The question is: WHAT the crap DO I DO with all that free time?

What do I ACTUALLY do?

And I am SERIOUSLY asking you here. See, this is my serious face: *does serious face*

I need suggestions. Obvs I want to make the most of such rare, precious, parental-duty-free time, and not just meld into my sofa watching the DVD box sets of Game of Thrones and The Killing (both on my to do list, natch) but I don’t really know WHAT I could do.

So far I’ve come up with:

  • have a manicure (never had one before)
  • go out and get drunk a lot
  • triple bill at the cinema
  • maybe overnight stay at the cinema
  • go out and get drunk a lot
  • a trip somewhere to see some people
  • a trip somewhere to see some stuff
  • a trip somewhere to see, erm, other stuff

Doing well, yeah? I know, right. I have NO IMAGINATION and I’m PANICKING.

C’mon, helpmehelpmehelpmehelpme. I need THINGS to do which will distract me from having no Moo, but which won’t cost a small fortune, and don’t require removing any body hair or injections.

Who knows, I may even blog about my escapades, if y’all give me some good stuff to do :D

By the way, Moo is going to stay with her daddy for the week, I haven’t packed her off to the Foreign Legion or anyfink. Ahem.

Now I am very impressionable so keep your ideas clean, please. Oh fuck it who am I kidding, I want to feel like myself again. TELL ME WHAT TO DO. You know you want to…

*waits with bated breath*


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  1. SilverSparkleTibby

    You go shopping. Looooong, browsing EVERYTHING ON THE RAILS in every shop shopping.

    You get sozzled.

    You read those books you get interrupted through.

    You watch your tv shows that get screeched through.

    You take a LONG bath, with lots of bubbles and shave, scrub and super moisturise everything.

    You take a gin picnic to the suspension bridge with friends (if the sun shows).

    You have friends over for movies.

    You start on the chores and sweep til the floor is all clean. You polish and wax, do laundry and mop and shine up.

    Maybe you’ll read a book, or maybe 2 or 3, add a few new paintings to your gallery? You play guitar and knit and cook and….no wait, you’re not Rapunzel….

    There must be something you’ve thought “I really want to do *insert thing* but I can’t with a toddler…”? :P

  2. anna tims (@ageingmatron)

    Hack out a pond. Go on a ten-mile hill walk with scones in your pocket. Do a handstand on the end of Clevedon pier. Read a novel a day on the sofa. Do a second-hand bookshop crawl. See a matinee. Take me with you.

  3. sonyacisco

    You already included all the best ideas- drink, sleep, and boxsets! I would include sex and Rock’n’Roll on my list too, but am a bit old for drugs these days, unless its a lemsip! See a show, visit a gallery, enjoy just sitting still for a bit! And definitely catch Benedict Cumberbatch in that net….

    • motherventing

      CUMBERBATCH. That’d sort out the sex and rock’n’roll, definitely. I was just wondering if there was anything a bit more obscure that I might have missed… my mind’s gone blank, it’s been so long since I’ve had the chance to do stuff for me…!

  4. mascara & mud

    eat well, drink lots, be merry, shake your bootey, sing karaoke, have a pint with your lunch at a snazzy little place, go watch a live band…that’s the first day done anyway?! enjoy x

  5. AmDramCraftyMam

    Things that would probably make it onto my list:

    1) long luxurious bath with no toddler trying to throw toys in (or shouting “Boobies” at you like my boy!)

    2) eat out somewhere absolutely not child friendly

    3) go for a swim in the proper grown up pool doing lengths and everything!

    4) watch a show

    5) and boringly I’d probably want to do some of the house stuff you can’t do when kids are awake and demanding attention or asleep. Like drilling.

  6. Melksham Mum

    I would …. Day 1 sleep and then read a book cover to cover Day 2 leave the house – and punch the air that I have crossed the threshold without having to go to work or with a child attached – and head to Starbucks for a huge multi grande Chai Latte and a muffin. Later I would exercise like mad. Day 3 go clothes shopping. Day 4 decorate. Day 5 rest. Each night I would either watch a DVD and consume a bottle of wine, invite Blogger friends over for a piss up and a lasagne, have a huge bubble bath.

  7. Patricia

    Here’s what I’d do. Buy a huge pile of crap magazines, make tea and toast, put clean sheets on the bed, put on a pair of clean pjs and go back to bed. Then I would stay there only getting up for toilet or food breaks. I most definately wouldn’t feel the need to ‘do stuff’. Well, maybe one afternoon of sitting next to a roaring fire in a pub getting merrilly smashed. I miss Sunday afternoon sessions. Sigh!

    • motherventing

      Yes, see, this sounds FAB. Not sure I could sustain a whole week of bed, but mixed in with some pub and cinema and shops and museums etc, I reckon that would qualify as ‘doing’ stuff :)

  8. Michael Cargill

    Bake a cake from Yellow Days’ gaff and then eat them whilst they are still warm.
    Start work on another book.
    Dig a hole in the garden just because you can.
    Sleep in the cot just because you can.

  9. Laura

    I would have my friends over for drinks and a take away and much much chatting and NOT HAVE TO SHUSH THEM EVERY FIVE MINUTES INCASE THEY WAKE THE BABY

  10. becky

    The first thing I would do on the first day is not get out of bed until lunch time!! Then make lunch and get back into bed… watch grown up tv all day… maybe have a bath… watch a movie and read a book :-D that’s day 1!!

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