I think I’m going slightly mentalissimo.
See this post I wrote t’other day? Wishlist? You read it? You had better farking read it. Ten push-ups if you haven’t. Anyway. Seems I’ve repeated myself a bit. Cos I wrote this post – Want – back in January. And they’re too farking similar.
Not the content. Obvs that’s different. I was not the same person back in January. My list of wishes was a rather more wistful affair. And it did not contain cheese, which is outrageous. But the idea is the same: all I did, in both posts, is write a list of wants. Something initially so simple, yet to my fuddled brain I can’t help but berate myself for repeating the posts, and NOT BEING ORIGINAL.
I mean, fucksake. Who wants to read the same old crap again and again? Next thing you know, I’ll post MORE naked photos of myself. I’ll write about how disgusting periods are AGAIN. I’ll recount something funny that Moo did, or recall an overheard conversation, or just post photos of bizarro pictures from colouring books. And y’all indulge me, and I’ll think I’m great, until it all happens again and AGAIN and before you realise, I’m just writing the same old shit EVERY SINGLE FARKING DAY.
I started out writing this blog under the auspicious heading of ‘parent blogger’, though I didn’t claim to offer tips and handy hints on parenting. I haven’t got a farking clue what I’m doing to Moo, so I’d never presume to impose my haphazard ideas of motherhood on anyone else. I kinda just tell you what happens and hope y’all go along with it. Writing about parenting seems, dunno, a bit false of me. So I don’t.
The funny stuff gets recorded cos it’s funny, and makes me LOLZ, and I want to share it. That sort of thing happens often-ish. But sometimes, forcing the funny just doesn’t work either. I’m not in a humorous mood right now. It’ll come back, I’m sure, while in the meantime? What, more lists? Jeezus.
Blog posts that are lists – for me – are lazy. Brilliant, but lazy. I do a list post when I haven’t got a farking clue what else to write about. Just so happens that Bastards is my most viewed and commented on post to date, and THAT’S an epic list. But man alive, I wrote that in, like, two minutes. Lazy. And since then I’ve been tempted to write similar. Only called Cunts. Or Fuck-Donkeys. Or Total Arseholes. Maybe one day.
I don’t know what to write. If I’m running out of ideas, I don’t know how to generate more. Seems I’m damned if I write about the personal stuff, but that’s all I’ve got going on right now. I have the impetus and the urge to vent and to write, but not the platform nor the audience for the finished product.
Fark me this is getting technical.
Look, I’m struggling. I don’t want my blog to die. I love it too much. What can I write about?