Mine
I try to be a good mother. I really do. It’s at the top of the list of things I’d like to be able to do properly, like ride a horse and sword fight at the same time, and knitting. I keep The Moo warm and dry, and make sure she has nice clothes to wear so that she can look fly when them fashion bloggers snap her street style, innit. I also endeavour to keep her fed and watered, and to change the straw in her cardboard box every now and again. See? Good mothering, for the win. Go me! Yay me!
Only there’s one thing I’ve noticed happening which is starting to piss me off a bit, and it kind of gets in the way of this good mothering business, cos it makes me not be a good mother very much at all.
Moo keeps nicking my food. MY FOOD. Mine. She STEALS it. Right in front of my face. Just HELPS HERSELF like she has higher authority over me, or summink. I mean, hello? It’s not like I eat a lot anyway, but when a baby-faced criminal is swiping the good stuff from my very plate without even so much as a ‘please may I taste your hummus, oh darling mother of mine?’ then BAM I find myself lying in bed at 3am with a growling stomach and a simmering resentment to my only child. Egad.
Apples. Biscuits. Crisps. Sandwiches. Alphabetti spaghetti. Yoghurt. Chicken goujons. Toast. Lettuce. Cucumber. Chips. Broccoli. ALL FOOD WHICH HAS BEEN STOLEN FROM ME IN THE LAST FEW DAYS. That’s not a bizarro shopping list. That’s a farking CRIME SCENE, mate. She is having a laugh. I give her exactly the same food as me, on one of her special plates, and still she half-inches my grub. Even if we’re having a cuddle on the sofa and I’m sipping a cup of tea, she’ll be like, ‘Tea! Tea! Tea? Tea! TEA!’ until my head explodes. But I ain’t that stupid – she ain’t nabbing my cuppa. No way, no how.
This is just a precursor to when she’ll be nicking my clothes and make-up and giant lasers, isn’t it? I’ve tried firmly discouraging her from grabbing my food, but I usually end up saying, ‘No, Moo, that’s mummy’s cake. That’s your [much smaller] piece there, on your plate. Eat yours. Not mine. No, not mine. No, Moo, NO FOR THE LOVE OF JEEZUS JUST EAT – oh, you’ve eaten mine. Oh great’ ad infinitum.
Am I being a tad over-sensitive with this? It’s OK to NOT share your food with your kid, isn’t it? Or should I just accept that what’s mine is hers from now until the end of days?
MiNe does the same thing! She will eat four different dinners based on who is in the house at the time. Drives me nuts. That’s why I don’t eat until both kids are napping during the day
Aww my little girl (16 mth) always eats her brothers (3 yrs) food . . . as well as her own. She is so greedy. I have to give my boy double amount on his plate to be sure he gets his portion bless him.
Mahahahahahahaha poor little mite
This is it my love. You have to share everything with her forev’s. It’s the only way.
*weeps* But those are MY biscuits
If she starts stealing your rum, call the police. She’s gotta accept there are boundaries sooner or later
x
I’m keeping a close eye on her. Fo sho.
Z was stealing all my prawn crackers the other day and then kept going “AH!” because he wanted my sweetcorn soup…and my rice……the little man never eats his own food though!!
I KNOW. Bloody children. Our food obvs tastes better??
I actually use this to my advantage now. If Z is refusing to sit down for lunch/tea because he would rather be jumping up and down on the sofa or emptying lego bricks all over the floor, then I have sometimes been known to transfer his lunch to my plate so that he thinks it is mine. Within seconds he will have climbed up onto my lap and devoured the lot. I’ll pile the plate with veggies and he will happily tuck in, just because he thinks I do not want him to. However, when it comes to cake – I eat mine secretly in the kitchen
LMAO secret kitchen cake eating? I like it. I like it a lot. And I like your sneaky sneakiness with the plate swap too. You’re a farking GENIUS
Happens to me too. They eat my garlic roulé, pringles, prawns, parma ham and sip my juice. They like my husbands blue cheese. And most of all, I HATE, they take my chocolate
I break pieces off and keep sneaking back into the kitchen for another piece, but they often spot me and ask, “What’s in your mouth mummy? What you eatening? Can I have some?”
Say, ‘I’m eating MICE’ and see what they do.
I thought that was how we get kids to eat; entice them to want our food?
I get my own back though – I have a secret stash & they don’t seem to notice that every now and again I have gerbil cheeks on me
LOL I’m going to get me a secret stash
So pleased it’s not just my food obsessed toddler that steals food. She is only 14 months though and MUST have whatever I am eating, she can even smell when I try and sneak something in my mouth in the kitchen. I have considered discussing with the health visitor but I’m scared they’ll take her off me if they find out I’m a secret eater. I have tried reasoning with her, explaining that mummy is pregnant and needs to eat to feed the baby (that’s my excuse for trying not to share my maltesers), to no avail. When someone has a solution please let me know, before we waste away! I deeply sympathise with you x x
Erm crikey, dunno really – no real solutions, I guess just give them a little bit and eat the rest so quickly there’s none left for them? Or just eat really quickly all the time?? It’s mad, innit
At the weekend, at breakfast time, Boy will have cereal and the Mrs and I will have scrambled eggs on toast. We’ll ask Baby (about the same age as Moo I recall) what she wants and she ALWAYS says ‘cereal’. Then the ONLY thing she will eat is the egg and toast off the adults plates. She is also a tea and orange juice thief, something that never even occurred to her brother.
Moo’s doing you a favour nicking your broccoli though.
Oh but I like broccoli. I’d fight her for broccoli. (not really) (really)
Be prepared to hide your things when she is older!
I’m already constructing an impenetrable fortress.
Ha ha. Someone else’s food is always more interesting, right? Funny thing in our house is that Bibs doesn’t care what I am eating, it is Daddy’s food that she wants, and nicks. Sometimes he scuttles up to the office with a plate of food just to fox her. I eat what I like. On the downside I don’t get to sit where I like. Bossy? She is a tyrant.
Time to plot a revolution, methinks. Down with these tyrant toddlers!!
whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers and that will be that until the end of time I am afraid…..
Noooooooooooo…
if i have something yummy the kids whine and beg for me to share like theyve never been fed, if i want a bit of theirs then its all screams and how dare i!
Bah! Double standards. Bloody kids. Who’d have ‘em, eh?
This is so bloody true. Bibs will never let me have any of her ice cream. Devil!
I feel your pain on this! My two have both done this, doesn\’t matter what it is or whether they have the EXACT same thing on their own plate, they would still swipe mine. Thankfully at 4 and a bit my eldest seems to have grown out of this a bit now, and on the rare occasions that he does pinch my food there is a cheeky sideways glace to go with it, because he knows he shouldn\’t be! Perhaps that is a little light at the end of the tunnel
That’s a long tunnel of food stealing ahead of me. Moo’s only 22 months!
My kids always want what is on my plate, even if the same exact thing is on theirs. Grrrr. Drives me bonkers. I can even remember when my son was an infant and was only on the bottle and still wanted what I was eating. He would whine and cry as he watched my husband and I eat.
Why though? WHY do they do that? Is it their sense of entitlement? The audacity!
Another mystery of the universe.
I don’t normally have this problem with meals because they’re strapped in high chairs/booster seats. I did have this with my eldest though, because my flat was too small for a table so we all ate on the sofa. Snacks, however? I hide in the kitchen. I can’t even eat plain chocolate, because apparently toddlers love the 85% stuff if that’s what Mum is eating!
The only thing Moo seems to have a problem with is very hot and very cold stuff. Maybe I should stick to extreme temperature foods?
I have a secret stash of treats on a shelf that no child can reach. I cram the good stuff into my fat hamster cheeks under the guise of any excuse I can think of. I even say I am washing up sometimes. I don’t wash up.
Oh and my daughter is 16 on Friday, and literally steals the clothes off my back whilst somehow also maintaining that I have dreadful dress sense. Go figure.
LMAO I remember when I was that age telling my mum that she dressed like a ‘librarian’ and then two minutes later begging to borrow her flowery blouses to wear with my ripped jeans and DM boots. Funnily enough, she wouldn’t let me. Maybe this is karma.
You have giant lasers???
Sorry, got distracted. Just paint your food with that anti-bite nail varnish stuff. Sorted. You’re very welcome
I’m not the only one who thought about the lasers then
Have you not heard about my giant lasers? I had to get some when my flying monkeys were stolen.
Put a bigger portion on her plate and a small on on yours then when she eats yours you can eat the bigger portion from her plate ?
She will eat it ALL. And I’m not allowed to take food from her plate. Oh no. She wins *weeps*
Yup, I’m with you. Everything. Every-bloody-thing off my plate. I’ve taken to eating without a plate, thus every meal is a picnic. And I often eat in the loo or hidden out of sight. I don’t like to share. That episode of Friends when Joey’s girlfriend eats his chips and he goes crazy? Well that’s me.
LOL I didn’t want to mention the Friends episode but that’s what I’m turning into. You eat hidden out of sight? This is going to become a war of wills, isn’t it?
MO-VO DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!
LMAO
Yep, mine used to do that and I’m sure my baby will too. I always say, “No” though as I don’t particularly like it either. I don’t mind “sharing” with them or giving them extra if they’ve finished their own food, but don’t just take from my plate. No. At Parent and Toddlers there’d always be “plate swapping” going on! Tut tut! My biggest peeve though, is when they put their chewed up food that they don’t want onto my plate. Yuck! Then, if I complain and put it back onto their plate they have a tantrum about it. I’m the wronged one, aren’t I?
Oh don’t even get me started on chewed up food! FFS. That’s what bibs with lips are for, to store chewed up food! Ugh, kids are so annoying
Eat stuff she won’t steal?
Hmmm like foul tasting things? Damn this works out well for me
Put mustard / chilli etc on your stuff? Not on cake though…
But I still have to eat it!