Swings
I did something today that if someone else had done to me, I’d have kicked off big style, with guns and lasers and sweet kick-ass karate moves.
Moo and I jumped the queue for the swings in the park.
She loves them swings. More than the slide and the rope bridge thing. She’s not the only one. Swings are popular. There’s usually a haphazard queue. Not a formal queue, with barriers and muttering pensioners. But parents do that oblique nod and furtive glance around thing anyway, and there’s unspoken acknowledgements, and somehow, you know your place. On most days, I can wait my turn. Moo can learn the art of patience from me. Usually. Innit.
Not today. I totally busted that queue and farked it in the face.
I was not in the mood to brook any arguments. I’d just found out I had been royally bloody messed around by some bureaucratic knob-donkeys – and as a consequence, something that should have happened weeks ago needs to be done all over again, for the love of Jeezus – which kind of throws my fragile equilibrium off centre and drags me kicking and wailing into strict doldrum territory.
The enforced jaunt to the park was an attempt to clear my head of the encroaching clouds. I had railed a bit on Twitter. It was obvious something was wrong. I said ‘fuck’ a lot, y’see. I only properly cuss when it’s fucking serious. I knew that Twitter couldn’t help me though. Space and trees and soggy sandpits were my agenda. Some silly play time with my daughter. Y’know, the important stuff.
But the park was busy. OF COURSE, it’s the farking school holidays, it isn’t raining, so everyone’s there. The implied queue for the blessed swings stretched implicitly through the playground. Moo wanted the swings. So I marched up there and hovered malevolently. I inwardly challenged the ENTIRE PARENTAL COMPONENT of the park’s hitherto population to even just FARKING TRY and tell me there’s a farking queue. Just TRY it. I bet NO ONE else had been wrangling with eejits on the phone for the best part of an hour previously, as well as desperately filling in farking online forms with stupid fiddly little tick boxes and STUPID FARKING BASTARD questions, all so I can get what money I’m entitled to and pay my motherfarking rent, and get my harridan landlady off my back for a few more days. No one else. Just me. And those swings were mine.
Swings. Back and forth. To and fro. Good and bad, happy and fucking sad.
But that’s my day. What’s up with you?
The queue for the buggy/wheelchair bays on buses are the worst! Especially if you have a double.
Hope they get a wiggle on with your money, having issues with Tax Credits at the moment so know what it’s like!
Yeah I’m waiting on Tax Credits as well. It doesn’t rain, it pours *wallows*
Did anyone say anything too you?
We’ve just come back from the park and playing on the swings. And its always interesting watching the playground etiquette.
No, they didn’t dare. I had a face like a slapped arse. Playground etiquette is fascinating. There are probably many studies on the subject… or there should be…
So are you adding ‘swinger’ to your biog. now then? *sniggers*
Mahahahahah almost called the post ‘Swinger’ but thought that might attract a different sort of reader
I too an having a mare of a time with HMRC who I reckon are going to chuck me in prison cos of their cock up of over paying me….I’ll send a v.o. to anyone who wants to visit…they really know how to turn people grey:-(
Hang in there chicken, trust me when I say if you think you got it bad, there’s normally someone else worse off..
And as for them there swings, fuck ‘em your allowed one park queue jump a year!
Xxxxx
I know. I am having to remind myself that I am lucky in so many ways. Just gets a bit much sometimes, innit *goes back to park to hog the swings* xxx
I am sending you an emergency supply of rum! Also, go out to a big field and scream your motherfarking lungs out (you might look like a weirdo if you do it on your street!), it can be a good way of getting rid of pent-up frustration. Alternatively, track down those knob-donkeys and give ‘em a good kick in the shins
Oohhhh I’d love to have a scream or two, maybe when I have to prove my lack of capital to the city council I could do it then? Right in their faces? Or not?
I’m @SingingAngel1. I think I might have been a victim of your purge.
Quite possibly. I did bulk unfollow a load of folk. My apologies. Hang on a tick and I’ll follow you again
*Sending calming vibes your way*
I had to appeal a governments decision once for my daughter and it was a freaking nightmare. I feel your pain.
I understand people have jobs to do but in this case I do feel they have farked it up royally. It’s lucky I wasn’t totally relying on receiving their help last month, though it’s getting that way this month.
I’ve found a lot of people just don’t care if it doesn’t directly effect them and I find this especially true of government workers. I hope they get their heads out of their asses and help you out soon.
Thank you missus x
I would have give’n you a well bad look I have to be honest
My munchkin’s ave all loved the swing’s n shit, but que jump???? At your venting peril !
Mine are now way past da swings and it’s. Drugs at one end and Skate board at the other…. But fuck wid da que? Be careful I don’t wanna have a venting quiet patch ad you are banged up due to a playground row
You wanna fight? Bring it on.
be strong MoVo and curse a bit it it helps you. Hope it all gets sorted x
Grazie mia bella x
It’s all swings and roundabouts isn’t it mate?
Fuck ‘em…. You’ve paid your dues…. Those cocking swings were paid for by you, me and every other (former) tax paying grunt in this country! Once in a while…. Moo needs to be prioritised over and above the children of noobs…
pax vobiscum
G xxx
Thanks gorgeous XXX
More than welcome sugar lumps xxx
I’m hitting the new playground by Horfield common tommorow am if you fancy a jaunt with us (I will have 5 children , yes 5) , text me.
Is it open? At last! I can’t in the am, have to be in for a delivery. Another time *hip bump*
Boo to the inefficient f***wits messing you about. BOO! That told ‘em. I wish W loved the swings. It is ALWAYS the rope bridge for him….so I have to go too. I don’t like it. It scares me.
Mahahahahaha Moo falls through the gaps in the rope bridge so she doesn’t really go on it
If your problems are benefit related let me know I used to do Housing and Council Tax Benefits so have a good grasp of different things like entitlements, etc. I can’t DM you as you’re not following me. boo hoo
Aren’t I? Damn, thought I was. What’s your Twitter name?