There are various terms of affection that I have for Moo. She may not thank me for ‘em later in life. After all, she is The Moo cos I started out calling her Mrs Monkey Moo, which turned into Monkey Moo, and eventually, without much surprise or a great deal of fanfare, into Moo. And – in point of actual fact – I don’t very often call her ‘Moo’ in real life, it is just a handy pseudonym to have online, like MoVo. Innit.
Currently, for The Moo, I am favouring the cutesy little epithet ‘chick’ or ‘chicken’, also sometimes ‘baby’ (obvious) and ‘gorgeous’ (also obvious), while if I am in a more cantankerous mood it can switch to the less salubrious ‘monster’, ‘little bugger’ or ‘you tiny enervating minxy-pants’. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t yet understand the complexities of the English language. I could call her WHATEVER I WANTED and she’d still either come over for a cuddle, or throw pasta at my face.
However, there is one thing I know I will never call her. Without a shadow of a doubt. Never in a gazillion years, ever ever EVER.
And variations of.
I hate it.
Can’t stand it.
I’m sorry. I know it’s popular. I see it all the time, on Twitter, on Facebook. I hear people call each other it.
Honey. Hon. Hun. Hunnie. And, one time, even, honie. FFS.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE SWEET HOLY JEEZUS DON’T CALL ME HONEY (AND VARIATIONS OF).
I really detest it. I don’t know why. For some reason, makes my skin crawl. I imagine the person saying it, in my head, and they’re all sort of, dunno, insincere and patronising. And I know that’s NOT how most people mean it – but that’s just how it sounds/reads IN MY STUPID HEAD.
So – SORRY – but if you have ever called me ‘honey’ (and variations of) in the past, then I have inwardly boaked each time.
That is why I will not call Moo ‘honey’ (and variations of) for as long as I breathe.
And ‘hun’ is the absolute WORST. Ack! ‘Hun’! Do you know who the hun were? Like, Attila the Hun? And, slang for the Germans during the World Wars? AND, in these modern times, it is the name of the biggest website for free links to adult material i.e. pornographic dirty dirty icky stuff?? Hardly sweet’n'lovely, is it? No. NO.
Everything else is acceptable, though you might get some stern glares if you called me ‘babes’.
Am I the only one who hates ‘honey’? What do you hate being called, and why?