Discretion
Gawd, sorry, SORRY EVERYONE, here I am! Hello, here, over here. Yeah, that’s me. Sorry I’ve been lacking a bit on the blog front lately but I’ve been, erm, distracted? There’s been all the crap-hooley about my financial situation, then my flying monkeys got nicked and there was the media fallout from THAT, and uh, I’ve had a cold, and, tum-te-tum, y’know, Moo and stuff.
*twiddles thumbs*
Oh fark it, I’ve been having a swell time with my fella, innit.
All those other things are TRUE anyway but, yeah, having a house guest – and such a handsomely diverting one as well – just fills my evenings up, and that is not a euphemism, or maybe it is, just a really vague one that doesn’t make a lot of sense if you think about it for any length of time.
But now I have une dilemma catastrophique: what the fark do I blog about?
I wrote a blog post t’other evening which I feel I can’t publish without my gentleman consort’s prior approval. This is odd for me. I am not known for my discretion. I just, erm, spaff it all out there. People commend me for my ‘brutal honesty’ – well, great, but I do just have a big mouth. Usually I am not bothered by the giddy levels of personal revelation that I reach on this blog. Obvs I don’t tell y’all EVERYTHING, but hey, you’ve all seen me naked so what else is there to hide?
This is different though, innit. This is someone else. Someone who has become – shall we say – heavily involved in my life. And yeah, even though I guess the majority of you KNOW WHO IT IS ALREADY, are you really prepared for me to blog about stuff that might, erm, be construed as TOO MUCH FARKING INFORMATION…?
Twice this morning – TWICE, already, just THIS morning – I’ve jokingly threatened to tweet some things that my consort would clearly NOT be happy about me tweeting. And if he reads this, yes, I mean the thing about the curry bucket, and yes, also the thing about your thing. Not your THING thing, just the thing thing. Or do I mean the thing THING? Maybe I mean the thing THING thing. Oh my, I guess that’s THREE things now…
My point is: there’s a whole untapped wealth of blog material here. Loads of it. Curry buckets of it. And, frustratingly – somewhat selfishly – a bit sadly – I probably can’t write about it. Not right now, anyway.
Although…
I’m now thinking blackmail.
Oh but damn, that works both ways. Damn. *thinks about what he could blog about me**gulps* DAMN.
So, c’mon, how shtum should I keep? What do you want to know, and what should I keep between ourselves? And I should really be talking to him about all this stuff, yeah? Ah, he’ll read this, it’ll be fine.
I dont care what you write, im just soooo spaffing excited for the pair of you!! Way to go movo
xxxx
I have obviously missed something HUGE! I sometimes have to run a post by my husband before I publish it – I wrote once about him donating sperm in his twenties and he went nuts. But at least now I know that ALL his family do read it
Mahahahahahahah I can’t imagine having to run anything past another person. But I guess some subjects might be a little sensitive. Sperm donation, eh?
Oh Franford, however discreet you try to be, your Twittet followers KNOW THE TRUTH lol. Im afraid it was a bit obvious ;p congrats to you both! X
You will NEVER know the truth. NEVER!! *shakes fist at sky* *lightning strikes the horizon* X
All I can say is that I am so pleased for you both! x
LOL All that I can say…sorry multi-tasking and not thinking what the hell I am saying…lack of sleep too. Not good. Is it wine o’clock yet?
ALWAYS wine o’clock…
Woop. Woop. Woop. That is all xxx
Same comment, different punctuation… there’s a code here, somewhere…
Xx
Woop, woop, woop. That is all! xxx
It is to the blogging twitoscape what Lionel Richie & Diana Ross are to the schmaltzy 80s ballad. We love it and we want more (but personally I prefer the mystery and the romance to plain rude shmexy shenanigans). Endless love to you both!
*falls about laughing* He is going to be soooooooooooooo miffed to be compared to Lionel farking Richie. Or maybe not?
He should be exceedingly chuffed. Lionel Rich Tea was one of my first heroes.
*smothers guffaw* Erm, sure. Sure. I’ll, uh, pass that on.
I’d say go for it. I reckon he’s an understanding bloke who loves your blog as much as the rest of us do. Remember, blog or die innit. *Passes you carte blanche.*
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So chuffed my suspicions were right! *does happy dance*
You’re like Columbo, only much prettier.
You are two very beautiful people and I am so chuffed for you both. I look forward to you both releasing a joint blog in the future. It would be the greatest blogging duet in the World ever…
LMAO Lionel Richie and Diana Ross, according to some…
I’m so happy for you.
I really don’t know who it is but I’ve only recently become involved in the chaos that is twitter. Best of luck to you!
Thank you lovely lady
eeeeek this made me smile lots! you both deserve happiness x
Thank you! I think we do too x
its so nice to hear something good
Oh-em-gee….i’m so so so happy for you both!!
I’m guessing all the gawkers want ALL the juicy deets…so best censor some out, otherwise you’ll be courting all of us, and nothing will be private, just put enough out to keep us informed/entertained*
LEAVE NOTHING OUT!!!
again, we’re all truly happy for you both, do whatever you fell comfortable with!
xxxx
LOL oh I like to retain a bit of mystery, innit. Maybe. Some. Well…
xxx
Very very pleased for you both *victory dance* (not surprised though, I was waiting and hoping for it to happen). You both deserve to be so happy, and we need to know the stuff! x
LOL you need to know? What, everything? Oh blimey, all right then… *plots next 49,000 blog posts* x
Better idea.. You do a blog.. then pass it to the consort who then blacks out sections that don’t pass censorship. Then we see posted a “redacted” version and try to fill in the blanks a la ‘have i got news for you’!
That sounds AMAZING
Water sports and anal are defo off limits for the blog I reckon. Meh….
So glad you two finally, um, got together. Two nice people, doing nice things, nicely. Aw!
So….has he got a big cock, or what?*
*Said for comedy purposes only!!! Step away from the blog.
PMSL I’ll whisper it in your ear
How about an interview of your gentleman. Questions no longer than 140 characters and answers obvs the same limit. Seems fitting.
And out of discretion you can ask the questions
Oohhhhhh what a fabbo idea! *plot brews*
EVERYTHING! I need to know everything! Coz I am a total stalker, voyeur weirdo type but my zoom lens binoculars can’t see through your net curtains. He showed us all his strange hat once. What could be worse than that?
Mahahahahaha I like that hat!
I have a 3 word question. Media. Fall. Out? What did I miss NOW?!?!?!?!?
Flying monkeys. Gone. Daily Mail. MAN ALIVE.
I really need to keep up with Twitter.
Slacker
Another brilliant piece misses ! I love the ” I should really be talking to him bit ” ! I reckon communicating by blog is the way to go ! Ok not really, discretion is key , but can you purely for the entertainment of your devoted fans, blog all the best bits please !
X
Really stupidly pleased for you both
LMAO ah bless you, my lovely devoted fan… best bits it is then
xx
Phew !! Thought for a minute there you was going all serious n shiz on us !!
Looking forward to the best bits then !! X
It’s not like it’s a surprise to any of us that follow the two of you. Good for both of you – after the months of 140 character electricity that flows back and forth it was only a matter time.
As to blogging. Maybe you need to come to an agreement as to what becomes off-limits? Hell, I’m ecstatically happy for you both so do whatever you decide is best!
So, the next blog post: what’s on and off limits…? Maybe a blog post in tandem? Ooohhhhh this could get messy…