Train
See this face?
That’s the face of a baby on a train. And my thumb, in the corner there. But mostly a baby. On a train.
And this is her FIRST TIME on a train, hence the occasion of recording the moment forever more with photographic equipment. She looks happy, yeah? Pretty excited? Keen to go places, see the world? Or, not the world, exactly, but maybe Severn Beach? Which is not a proper beach, despite the promising title, but somewhere fun to run around and get some fresh air and generally fark about for a bit before heading back home for lunch? Sounds good?
Yarp.
We, however, went to a place called St Andrews Road. The stop BEFORE Severn Beach. In my excitement – I spaffed too soon, prematurely, you might say – I made us get off the train a stop early, and we ended up in the direst place imaginable for anyone to be, let alone these city folk intent on seaside japes and, erm, some estuary-based larking about.
That St Andrews Road station is pretty much an industrial estate. By the estuary. With proper piles of dusty slag and massive puddles of toxic waste. Men in scuffed high-vis jackets trooping wearily to and fro between belching machinery. Giant croaking chimneys. A lonesome and seeping kebab van. Tumbleweed. Crows picking through the bones of a long-deceased buffalo. Scorched horizon. The train station itself is merely a slab in the ground. With a bench, and a bridge.
There is also, most helpfully, a sign saying which station it is. Somehow I missed that.
The next train that could take us to our intended destination – the fabled and wondrous and now totally legendary Severn Beach – was due in a mammoth TWO HOURS time. An industrial estate is no place to entertain a curious toddler for two hours. We’d end up being subjects of some horrific public safety video. There was nothing else to do, but wait for the train we’d just (very stupidly) alighted from to make its return journey and take us back into town.
What a farking wasted journey. All my fault. I am never going out ever again, ever. Unless it’s to the shop, and I don’t have to go near the estuary.
But Moo got to go on a train, and she loved it, so that’s OK.
How stupid have you been today? Not as stupid as me, I betcha.
Me and my husband fell asleep on a train once after going to a Madonna concert, we woke up just in time to be stopping in a little villiage (think league of genlteman-Western Vasey) Hence to say we didnt get off there and had to go to the final destination which then cost us another £50 to get home (about 2am) Nice eh! lol!! xx
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who does the sort of things! I haven’t done anything remarkably stupid today but wait a few hours and I’m sure I will.
LOL oh do be sure to tell us when you do…
When I had to commute from Bournemouth to Southampton, I once fell asleep on the train and wound up in London. To be fair I was on the first train at some god awful early hour after a night out. Those were the days!
LOL I bet that was a squeaky bum moment…
I’m going on a train tomorrow!
I’m going to Gloucester after work to see my friend, and on Saturday, we’re COMING TO BRISTOL and we’re GOING TO THE ZOO!!!! 
I hear there are motherfeking PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!! 
There are penguins. They do tricks. I might mean magic tricks.
Oh my god that horrible… two hours… thats just crazy talk! I’m glad you took a positive out of it though LOL that she loved the train.
It would’ve been a looooong wait in Nowheresville. Bloody local lines. But yeah. She loved it.
Oh this totally sounds like something I would do… At least now I feel in good company.. Ta muchly for making me smile x
LOL my pleasure… *bangs head against wall* x
May be not today but – erm we did once get on a train to the airport complete with kids & luggage, as you do. & we were all ready to get off but the train went straight through & DIDN’T STOP we just watched from the window as the train sped on past all the planes we ended up in Brighton – so I did learn that it’s a good idea to check where it stops before we all pile on. Bet you won’t do it again
LMAO oh thank you for making me feel so much better… that’s classic
That is a pretty daft thing to do, I have to say.
This morning, I went into Tesco to buy my mid-morning banana, as I always do. However, they were all as green as limes, so I didn’t buy one.
Instead, I got a bacon and sausage roll from the food van later on.
That’s not stupid, that’s just better judgement.
For the last 16 (almost 17) years I have been travelling from where I live to the in-laws house. I still manage, on average, one wrong turn on the way back – without fail!
LOL skillz
I was once told that it’s not about the destination but more about the journey. And I hope you had a good one.
I guess it was worth it to hear Moo going ‘wooooooah’ out of the window when we started moving. Still feel like a noob though.
Feeling like a noob about such things makes you a mook. And you don’t want to be a mook so stop feeling a noob. Please?
Oh we forgot our son needed a passport. Just that. BTW to the gentleman above, are you sure you want her to stop feeling a nob? PPS I think you need to adjust your spellcheck. It’s putting in extra Os. *Helpful*
I like the word noob. It’s pleasing.