Zoo
Zoos are great. Not all zoos, obviously. I can imagine that a zoo of Victorian urchins might not be a cheery place. Or a zoo of slightly wan poodles. But generally, zoos are OK by me. The one in this fair city where I live is uber-great, and I’m a member of this zoo, which doesn’t mean I’m part-wolf or related to one of the jellyfish or anything, just that I pay an annual fee and then get to go for as many times as I like.
So we went today and because zoos are educational as well as entertaining (though, if I’m honest, a parade of wan poodles wouldn’t go amiss) here’s what I learned at the zoo:
- that there are loads of kids called Mitchell. As we walked around, I swear I heard people – and different people, not just the same ones all the time – calling for a Mitchell, e.g. ‘Mitchell! Come eat your sandwich!’ and ‘Mitcheeelllll! There’s a penguin!’ and ‘MITCHELL! STEP AWAY FROM THE LION’ etc. Unless they were actually shouting ‘Michelle’ just in a really common way?
- that I can actually restrain myself from shrieking ‘For the love of Jeezus, LEMURS ARE NOT MONKEYS’ at stupid people, when stupid people point at lemurs and say, ‘Ah look, Mitchell, what a gaw-juss monkey!’ Even Moo knew they weren’t monkeys. Though she did point at them and say ‘cat’. But the zoo man said she was close enough.
Not monkeys. Not cats. Lemurs. LEMURS.
- that I do not like pigeons mating near my feet.
- that if there’s a playground, with slides in it, Moo will have to go on every slide.
- that, despite what you may think from your TV viewing, meerkats do not wear clothes, speak English, or advise you on where to purchase car insurance. They really do fark all apart from squeak and sit on their babies.
- that Moo is not a fan of animatronic dinosaurs, especially the ones that make noises like ‘eep eep eeeeep eeeeEEEeeeeeEEP’ and ‘ggggggrrraaaw’ and ‘Mitcheeeelllll’.
‘Now this one’s called…erm…Mitchell, apparently’
- that tired little girls DO NOT want to go on carousels.
- that scarecrows are, actually, pretty farking scary.
‘Boo! And, have a chive’
And that’s that.
Sorry if you were hoping for fascinating animal facts, though if you were, you really should not be reading my blog anyway.
When was the last time you went to the zoo? And do you know anyone called Mitchell?
Hahaha. Not sure about the Mitchell thing! Last time we went to a Zoo was a couple of years ago on holiday in Devon. Paignton Zoo is one of My kids favourite holiday days out. Plus you get animals and a train in one place! Next Zoo trip will be when we can save enough money to go to Edinburgh to see the pandas. Re the dinosaur – reminds me of taking my Son to the Natural History museum. He used to have nightmares about their T Rex model thing!
Wow I visited Paignton Zoo yeeeeeeeeeears ago, when I was a wee lassie. I wonder if it’s changed much. Would also love to go to Edinburgh zoo. Hope you save enough money soon
The last zoo we went to was whipsade last year for G birthday, i must say i love the zoo too! I must say i agree about that scarecrow, he a bit of a scary fecker! Im going to have to sleep with the lights on tonight!
xx
Oh I love Whipsnade, we went when I was preggo with Moo and I managed to completely knacker myself out by walking around. But it was awesome. X
Yes it is rather big, iv never driven around it always walked! check me out eh with my hardwalking legs pmsl!!! xx
I can’t remember the last time I went to a zoo. We went to a wildlife park, which calls itself a wildlife park but is actually a zoo. I’ve been to two of those in the last year.
My ex-wife took T to one of these wildlife parks last summer and apparently all he wanted to do was sit by the fence and watch the trains go past.
I no-one called Mitchell, but I do know someone with the surname Mitchell.
And that is one farking dubious looking scarecrow. Why do I think he looks like he’s scratching his scarecrow balls?
I think Bristol Zoo is quite small but packs a lot in to a confined space (and uses the space well for the animals, they’re not bunking up a lion and a crocodile, for instance) (tho that would be cool). Wildlife parks are great but the animals are always so farking far away.
The surname Mitchell does not count.
And the scarecrow is no doubt scratching his balls. Must get itchy down there with all that straw.
Is Mitchell the new Zak then? And when did dinosaurs land at the zoo?
Mitchell is the new Zak is the new Ryan is the new Jack. Dinos been there since end of May and until September!
There’s a boy called Mitchell at the childminders, he was top dawg until my little buddy came along! The boys name is biblical hence him triumphing over ‘Mitch’*
I love the zoo. Infact I’d like to own a zoo so I could feed the undesirables to the lions and not get caught cos it’d be my zoo like and I wouldn’t let no squad in. Anyway, apart from getting away with murder**, the zoo rocks, glad you and La Moo had an awesome day. I also hate pigeons. I’d feed them to the lions too. xx
*Just want to say he’s not called Jesus btw but biblical all the same
** Also want to point out I’ve never murdered anyone. Not yet anyway. Possibley soon but
not yet. Honest.
If I had a son I’d call him Jeezus Cheezus. Totes biblical.
I’ve never taken the boys to a zoo but we have been to a safari park which is basically an inverse zoo where your family are in a little cage roaring and throwing food at each other while the animal press their faces up to the window, no doubt saying ‘No dear, these are homo sapiens. They have the opposable thumbs and can work with tools. Don’t get too close, they spit.’
LMAO that’s satire, right there
I’m impressed you showed restraint with the lemur/monkey thing. I’ll even tell small children that Pterodactyls don’t exist they are called Pterosaurs or that gorillas are apes not monkeys and don’t even get me started on the whole whale/fish thing. I’m probably quite annoying at the zoo
Ahh but you are a zoologist so you are ALLOWED to be pedantic about such matters. In fact, if I were you I’d wear a badge which said ‘zoologist’ and then you could say ANYTHING YOU LIKED in the zoo and people would believe you.
Thats what I’m going to do when the kids are in school and I’ve got some time on my own! Genius idea – walks off to make up stuff about animals
You could be the next Attenborough. He makes stuff up all the farking time.
I love the zoo. I took both the children on a day trip to our local (one hour away) one for Dexter’s first birthday back in March. Just me, two small children and one single pushchair. Thankfully, we all had a great day and my eldest didn’t want to leave. Don’t know anyone called Mitchell though.
There would have been someone there called Mitchell, you were probably just distracted by the kids. Or the animals…