Diagnosis
The internet is marvellous, sure. But if there’s one thing I shouldn’t do, it’s put my symptoms into Google and try and find a diagnosis for why I’m feeling so hot-damn shit at the moment.
Something’s not right with me. Since Friday, I’ve felt like I’ve been hit by a bus. I wake up OK, manage till lunchtime, and then suddenly I’m exhausted. Like, bone-crunchingly, achingly, bloody bastard exhausted. When Moo napped today, I lay on the sofa, unable to move, under two blankets, trying to get warm. I snoozed for a bit and had weird dreams. When Moo woke, it took me ten minutes to crawl upstairs to get her. Ridiculous. THEN I DECIDED TO WALK TO MY MUM’S HOUSE. Like a farking loon. Obviously, once I was out in the fresh air and moving along, I’d feel loads better. Mahahaha! WHAT A NOOB. A twenty minute walk to mum’s house took twice that long. I was hot, dizzy and out of breath by the time I got there. Yet I told myself it was only cos it was uphill, and I am hugely mildly unfit, that it affected me so.
Anyway my mum is not a fool, and told me to go the doctor’s. And I always do what my mum tells me. Tomorrow I’ll phone up and book an appointment.
But this evening I thought I’d look up my symptoms anyway, just to save my GP some time. So, I’ll go in tomorrow and shove a sheaf of printed paper in his face and shriek ‘Oh my GAWD, save me Doctor, for I think I must have LUPUS!’
Cos I have lupus. OBVIOUSLY. Or if not that, then:
- flu
- Lyme disease
- malaria
- polio
- Rocky Mountain spotted fever
- roundworm
- rhabdomyolysis (no, me either)
- fibromyalgia (eh?)
- glandular fever
- diabetes
- bum fever
- foof plague which has spread throughout my bones
- lupus
- lupus
- lupus
- or… um… Tropical Ooga-Booga Monkey Disease
Whatever. It could be I’m just exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally. It could be a virus that my body’s not managing to shift for whatever reason. It could be just one of those things, and I’ll wake up tomorrow and actually feel OK for a change.
But man alive, do I take my health for granted. When I can’t carry Moo downstairs after her bath, then I know something’s up. When I feel better I’m going to do a farking victory dance and start looking after myself a bit more (which means – probably – less cake… doom).
I am relentlessly optimistic (stop laughing at the back there, I farking AM) so I know I’ll be OK soon. Maybe. Yeah, I will, I will. Hopefully. Oh Jeezus. Excuse me while I go on NHS Direct, won’t you…
Am I the only internet hypochondriac out there? Or is anyone else tempted by the lure of a Google diagnosis?
I think one of the very first things I used the internet for was googling my symptoms, I was 16 and convinced I was going to have a heart attack, then cancer, loss of eyesight, diabetes, liver disease…the list goes on. I am sure that my GP has a warning flash on on his screen when I enter into his room! Being ill sucks, I hope you feel better soon xx
Thanks darling. So do I. Fed up of feeling like this xx
Oh my god if I ever give anyone advice (which I very rarely do as I am not very wise) but I would say NEVER GOOGLE SYMPTOMS. Mylife last year was literally ruined doing that. I “had” (i.e. did not have but very much believed I had) three different types of cancer last year. Now I do genuinely suffer from health anxiety so I am a bit more extteme but seriously STAY OFF GOOGLE!
Hope you feel better x
bum fever! lmao, foof plague! lmao even more. hope doc sorts u out
I drove myself crazy last year when I was sent for an MRI due to my migraines, then the consultant called me THE SAME DAY to book me in to see him a week later so of course I was convinced I had a brain tumour as that’s what Google told me. I didn’t sleep for a week and burst into tears frequently. It turns out I don’t have a brain tumour after all.
Step away from Google and I hope you have more luck getting an appointment tomorrow. X
Thanks, so do I X
Yeah, I’m a huge hypochondriac too so I know where you’re coming from. (My post ‘fear’ is about just that.)
I’m sure you’ll be fine – still worth getting checked though. Good luck.
Thanks – no appointments free today (boooooo) so I’ll have to try tomorrow. And keep away from Google in the meantime…
Yes, but do you scare yourself stupid googling your kid’s symptoms? And whaddya mean ‘less cake?’ You need lots of cake. LOTS. Trust me, I googled it…
I hope you feel good again soon.
No I never do it for Moo. Never, ever, ever. I would probably implode with worry if I did.
hope the doc will sort you out! I’d get a slap if I googled whenever I felt unwell! Whichever way you want to look at it Fortunately/Unfortunately most times it is just a cold or man-flu and Dr B doesn’t give me much sympathy and expects me to just get on with it! Which I totally understand, I am not actually one of her patients. Take good care of yourself & the amazing little Moo
Mahahahahahaha I’m usually very good and just motor on, but if something’s not right I know it’s not right, if you see what I mean. Now if only I could get an appointment…
Hi, Hope the dR gets you sorted SOON ! Googling symptons is a fav of mine too ! ( although a very dangerous pass time !) I spent years going back and forth to the Dr with similar symptoms to your self, I recognise how you are feeling immeadiatley. I have fibromyalgia ( diagnosed in 2009ish) and Its rubish! Its wide spread pain in the muscles, constant feeling of fatigue, pain in joints etc etc ! blurrrgh
It does say it can be brought on by stress and God knows we all get enough of that !!
Im sure Its a virus thing,or as said above a blood thing and I blooody hope its not Fibromyalgia, but if it gets mentioned I am a wealth of information on the subject !!! Take care Misses ! X PS I have an itchy nipple – googles immeadiatley !x
Oh gawd that fibromyalgia sounds about right… *hyperventilates* Nah I will go see the doc, they’ll reassure me *chews lip* *goes on google* X
¡Dios mio! The internet can be a very bad influence when you are feeling weak and vulnerable. It was the internet that convinced me that I had a rectal prolapse. But the GP was like all “stuff and nonsense”. It was also the internet that told me to smoke fags, take drugs and drink too much. We are not allowed to see each other anymore.
Get thee to the doctor to see what’s up hon. It really might be something simple that a few iron tablets could sort out. xxx
Bloody hope so missus xxx
Sorry you’re feeling crappy. I’d listen to the actual doctor with the medical degree and stuff rather than the interweb when it comes to diagnoses though.
This is what good bed fellows computer software and disease are. In an old job I was helping to test a medical underwriting computer system (stay awake, it’s almost worth it) written in English but for clients in Taipei who only read Chinese. The diseases had to be translated from Chinese to English so I could do my work then back again and the translator, not being a medical one put them through Babel Fish. When I opened my disease list the next morning it contained ‘The Grape Are Swollen’, ‘Brain Swell’ and (my favourite) ‘Szechuan Getting Rugged Disease’, the cure to which is presumably the ritual burning of a North Face fleece.
Get well soon and take care of yourself. Also check your grapes aren’t swollen.
Damn, my grapes have been swollen for years. I’m doomed, yeah?
Thanks, mister.
Hope it goes well, I’m the world’s worst Google hypochondriac there is so no doubt I’ll be returning tomorrow to find out what he said, in case I get it!
LOL I’ll make sure not to breathe on you via the internet…
Ahhh, the joys of Doctor Google. The most terrifying Doctor EVER. Hope you’re better soon chick xx
Thanks doll. Glad you had a fab weekend X
And like a complete saddo I know what rhabdomyolysis is. Need a life.
Hope you get some joy at the doctors tomorrow and start to feel better soon. Sucks to feel the way you’re feeling, especially with a small person to look after too. Look after yourself xxx
Thanks, I hope it’s not rhabdomyolysis cos that sounds nasty xxx
i am just watching House where they have just mentioned Lupus
Then it MUST be what I have!
i’m thinking it was a sign from the diagnosis god himself
also the mother in me is thinking increase your iron intake which can be done through diet, go to the gp to double check and remember that you have gone through a lot so go easy on yourself too, plenty of looking after yourself and making time to put you first.
Thanks mum X
you are welcome, sleep well
Sure doctor will say virus, but get bloods checked, classic Aneamia case too.
Will do, thanks.
You are describing the symptoms exactly of what I have just suffered and posted about – my anaemia ended in a blood transfusion! We know about your periods (!!) – any chance you’re low on iron?
Could be. I’ll ask for a blood test. Have just finished a period, though didn’t think it was particularly heavy this month.
You see I don’t think that’s a coincidence – you have used exactly the same words I used before I keeled over in front of my kids(!) – hit like a bus, cold, weird dreams, aching and so v tired. Hope crying on the phone to the Receptionist helps – always works for me – even got 2 home visits. But then I would pass out if I stood up. Hope you don’t get that far and can google ‘low iron count’ to see if it helps? Best wishes in meanwhile X
A friend told me there’s a surgery closer that I might be able to switch to, it’s smaller so might have better chance of getting an appointment sooner. I’ll try ringing in the morning and see what happens. But I don’t really want to get to the keeling over stage…! Thanks doll x