[Playgroup. Standing by the slide. Eavesdropping on some mums]
Boy: Mummy mummy mummy!
Mummy: What? Are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself?
Mummy: Oh poor boy, poor boy, where does it hurt?
Boy: Down here! [points to crotch]
Mummy: Did you hurt your WILLY?
Mummy: Well I’m not kissing that better!
Boy: But it HURTS! It’s SORE!
Mummy: Well, erm, ***** is a first aider, maybe she can help? [points to friend]
Friend: I’M not kissing it better!
Boy: It hurts, my WILLY HURTS!
Mummy: [crying with laughter] Go on, *****, do some first aid on his willy.
Friend: I think it will be OK by itself…
Boy: It feels better now.
Mummy: Oh that’s good, that’s good. Stop touching it then. Go and play.
Friend: [as Boy wanders off] He’s grabbing his crotch.
Mummy: You are rubbish at first aid!
[I go and rescue Moo from the sandpit]