Mother

It has been Mother’s Day. Almost over now. A whole day dedicated to the awesomeness of mothers. It kind of makes me feel sorry for other random relatives who don’t get special days. Like, uncles. Second cousins. Step-sisters-in-law-twice-removed. How BAD they must feel. They have lost in life. The losers.

But yeah, mothers are cool. You don’t need me to tell you that. I have been tagged in a Mothering Sunday meme by the pocket-sized Mummy Glitzer and the urbane Middle-Aged Matron. I am obliging them. Cos I’m nice like that. And I got a massive bunch of flowers today. So I’m in a good mood.

Describe motherhood in three words…

Oh Jeezus helpme.

Does your experience differ from your mother’s? How?

Mainly because of the dinosaurs. I don’t have to wrestle velociraptors on a day-to-day basis whilst preparing a meal for a toddler and soothing a crying baby. And the fur bikinis she wore must’ve chafed. So, I’m grateful that dinosaurs are now extinct, and all that.

What’s the hardest thing about being a mum?

Guilt. Being judged by other mums. The neverending battle with bodily fluids. Shit.

What’s the best thing?

Moo.

How has it changed you? 

Fundamentally. Quintessentially. Irrevocably. Terrifyingly quickly. And I have drunk more alcohol in the last 16 months than have ever done in my life before.

What do you hope for your children?

Biscuits.

What do you fear for them?

Dentists.

What makes it all worthwhile?

Naked wrestling on the bed. Oh wait, you mean motherhood? Um. Naked wrestling on the bed. Moo’s giggles are the best noise in the world ever.

I’d like to stress that SHE is naked. I am not. We have a giggle pre-bathtime. One day she will shit on my duvet. Then the naked wrestling will stop.

Happy Mo Day, all you Mo Fo’s.

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8 comments

  1. Alison Riches

    Speaking of mothers day, I spent mine lounging in bed (mines 12 and at her dads for wkend, you never know you might have that to look forward to!) and what did I do whiling the day away? I read your blog. ALL OF IT. Now before you go running for a restraining order, can I just say thank you for all the laughter, tears (both from being happy and sad!)
    looking back I wish I had an outlet online to vent whilst bringing up Bubby!
    All your worries hopes and fears are completely normal and whilst I can say something along the lines of ‘it’ll be fine’ it won’t make them go away!

    Again, thank you, I look forward to reading more as Moo gets older!

    Alison.xx

    (and yes you will be having THAT conversation with Moo whilst looking for clothes!)

    • motherventing

      Wow! You go straight to the top of the class! Star pupil! Gold medals, the lot! Thanks so much! I am v v impressed. And I hope you carry on reading and get all your friends to as well :) Thanks again (you crazy stalker-type person) xx

      • Alison Riches

        *puts apple on teachers desk*

        Have told friends…they mostly said ‘whats a blog’

        *looks dejected*

        Ps restraining order doesn’t cover my internet use….muahahahaha!!

  2. silversparkletibby

    Awwwww, I think Avas giggles are the best noise ever! :) we had tea with her today and she was eating a chocolate mini roll (chocolate all in the carpet) and I actually LOL’d at her HARD when she swaped hands the cake was in, looked back at the first hand and looked HORRIFIED that her hand was covered in chocolate. Then holding both hands away from herself like shed just stuffed them in a full nappy, looked at me completely perplexed as I ROFL’d! XD

    • motherventing

      It probably doesn’t mean what I think it means. In my head it means you are really street and hip and, uh, urban. But it doesn’t mean that. I should have just said urban. Innit.

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